So something I’ve been convicted of lately is passivity. Passive in what you ask? How silly of you to ask that on a Christian blog. Of course I’m talking about passivity in my relationship with my heavenly Father, the great I Am. See, for about two years or so after graduating highschool I got very passive in my faith and stagnant in my walk with the Lord. Why? I was lazy. I expected God to use me for great things in his Kingdom but never wanted to work for it.
I wanted the product without the process.
But oh how our Father loves the process. It’s why he gave us free will, it’s why this life on earth is so important. It’s training ground for the heavenlies, an organic process that is essential to forming us into the likeness of the greatest man to ever to break bread on earth. See, I always have had a desire to do great things for him, and a passion for ministry. But when the hour came, I sat on the doorstep of the King of king’s house, expecting him to open the door, refusing to knock. Open the door, God. Open.
And when it started to rain, I sat out, cold and numb on doorstep of heaven wondering why the door remained closed.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
It’s true that the Giver of joy pursues us. He pursues us so passionately I doubt we’ll understand the depth of that passion until we speak with him face to face, and even then it may transcend our human capacity. (Oh that we could receive but a crumb from the table of divine understanding!)
And so our Father does pursue us, he does. But a pursuer who is also a lover can only pursue their object of desire so far. A pursuer and lover will not forcefully rapture their victim of passion. A lover begs for mutual desire. The pursuer in turn needs to be pursued, like two flirting birds chasing one another until caught up in a rapturous grasp of drive and passion. A lover who pursues and takes without receiving is a molester, not a lover. Our God is a zealous lover who will not take what we do not ask for or give in return. He waits on the other side of the door, waiting in jealous expectation for our knock. But he will not drag us into his house like victims, he waits as the most holy of hosts for his company to seek out the table he has prepared for those he calls his friends. And friendship is a two-way street. A friend pursues a friend just as a lover pursues a lover.
He is waiting for our pursuit.
Oh that we would have the drive and desire of the woman who longed for the power of God to heal her; so much so she pushed through the throngs of people that pressed in close all around the great teacher. She had suffered for too long, seeking out earthly methods, pursuing every other antidote for her poison: and it all returned to her void. She was desperate. But she was not hopeless. She had heard of the man Christ Jesus. The hard words of worldly wisdom would not keep her from pursuing him. She had heard, she believed and she pursed. But when she reached the place the great healer was the people were numerous she could not see the person she desired, the man Jesus. And so she pursued him.
She fought past people.
She crawled in the dirt, the hot and sweaty feet of humanity almost crushing her frail body. But the fight would not break her, the struggle would not hinder her mission. And so finally, collapsing at the feet of Jesus, saying not a word, her mouth probably too dry and her lungs filled with dust to utter a plea; she reaches forth her bruised hand and touches the hem of the garment of the Great I Am.
And power instantly leaves him.
And she who was sick is healed.
And he turns his eyes upon his child.
The door is opened.
And the desperate and passionate lover is let into the house full of light.
THAT is pursuit.
Pursuit is the enemy of passivity. Passion is its death.
And what a beautiful death it is.
I want that death. But I cannot expect to slay that beast without picking up my sword.
That sword is pursuit. And its strength is in passion and desire. We all sit on the doorstep. let us not expect the door to open without us knocking, for our God is jealous for our love. He is zealous for our pursuit. He does not spoil his children; he does not give gifts to his children if his children do not ask and seek them out. Oh how he longs to fulfill our dreams and give us the gifts we long for! He knows our every thought and he placed our deepest desires within us. But we must chase him, we must pursue his presence, we must seek out his power, and knock upon the door of heaven, beseeching, pleading, begging, pleading earnestly with all we have for him to open the door. And then the door will open, and the master of the house will welcome us into the light with open arms, and in those arms we forget the struggle, the dust, the death we previously knew; all passivity is lost in the comparison of his glory and love.
But know this. The struggle isn’t fun. Sometimes the process takes longer than we think it should; and often times it feels like we will never see the fruit of our pursuit. In those times we must remember that without a fight, there is no victory, and without victory there is no reward. And how the champion of heaven longs to reward us.
Remain a lover.
Remain a pursuer.
For how can we not pursue him who first pursued us?
“But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul”