Can I be brutally honest right now?
I’m scared of lots of things.
I’m scared that I won’t be successful.
I’m scared that I won’t find someone who loves me, inside and out.
I’m scared that if I do find someone, I won’t be able to love them right or feel the things that I’m supposed to feel.
I’m scared that I’ll never find my calling or fulfill my purpose.
I’m scared that I’ll never get out of this cycle of fear and joy.
I’m scared that I’ll never be the man I want to be.
I’m scared that nobody actually cares about me.
I’m scared that I’ll never impact the world the way I want to.
I’m scared that people I love will never feel the love of God.
I’m scared that I can’t hear God’s voice.
I’m scared that tomorrow will be terrible.
I’m scared that I’ll never understand myself.
I’m scared that I missed out on something.
I’m afraid that I will miss out on something.
I’m scared that my health will get worse and worse.
I’m scared that my none of dreams will be fulfilled.
I’m scared that I’m stupid and less intelligent than everyone else.
I’m scared of a lot of things, if I really think about it.
There are so many reasons to be afraid, to be anxious, to obsess over the “what if?”.
Yet every day I wake up I have a choice.
That choice is fear or joy.
Life or death.
See, the thing is, some of these fears may actually come to pass.
But they might not.
We are so obsessed with focusing on the negative “what ifs” that we miss out on the joy of the positive “what ifs.
What would my life look like if I only focused on the positive?
What in my life would change if I had hope that each day something great and miraculous would happen?
To some, that might be ignorant, foolish, unwise and childish.
But I know a man who was more than man, who once said that I must become as a child in order to fully experience all that he had for me.
He never was afraid, he simply believed.
Kris Vallotton says that “fear is simply faith in the wrong kingdom.” If this is true, then how much faith in the kingdom of darkness do I have by thinking about all my fears and worrying about them?
See faith never makes sense, for either side.
It’s foolish to fear and it’s foolish to have hope.
But my God says he confounds the wisdom of the wise and has chosen the simple, foolish things of the world to display his goodness and glory.
It’s foolish to hope that every day something amazing will happen.
It’s foolish to think that a miracle will happen in your life when you’ve been praying for it for years.
But that’s faith.
And I would rather be a faithful fool than a fearful fool.
Either way I look stupid.
Either I worry about life going terrible, or I believe that it will be spectacular.
And how is God going to reward me with good things if the only faith I have is in things going terrible?
He longs to reward my faith, he yearns over my spirit, desiring to do things extravagant and wonderful in my life, but he can only do that if I believe he will.
So despite the voices telling me it’s foolish, the wisdom of the world that would tell me to question everything, and the past that tells me otherwise, I will not give into fear.
I will hope.
And I will be a faithful fool for Him.
“…love hopes all things.”
p.s: If you’re struggling with feeling like things are ever going to change, please, please do more than hang in there. Resist fear. I know that experience has told you otherwise, that your peers or family may tell you otherwise, but listen only to Him. I know that fear seems like the logical or practical thing to do, in order to prepare yourself for disappointment, but if you choose fear you will never grasp the freedom of hope. I know that hope seems stupid, but the best things in life never make sense, they just happen because someone had the faith and the boldness to believe that they would. If you want change in your life, let go of fear and hold on to hope, completely. Wake yourself up every day and tell yourself something amazing will happen. Because who knows? “What if” it does?
In that choice is life.