Bit of Glory, Drops of Heaven

So for the past few weeks I’ve been really struggling with feeling like God isn’t as powerful as we say he is or at least he’s being a prude and not showing any of it to me.
I’ve felt like he’s quiet.
I’ve felt like he’s distant.
I haven’t felt the closeness that I’ve experienced with him before.
Why?
Why God?
Why can’t you just give me a little bit of your presence?
Why can’t you just give me one good encounter of your glory?
Why?
I felt as if I received the answer when reading an excerpt from The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. The letter is written by a head demon to his nephew underling, as he explains why the enemy (God) doesn’t use more of his power and presence to bring humans from the darkness into the light.
He makes an interesting point. He writes that God desires children who chose him, and if God used even a bit of his power on humans they would be overwhelmed completely by the magnificence and have no logical choice but to follow God. Use of his great power would be similar to a holy manipulation.
I was instantly comforted.
How true this is!
He is a kind Father, never wishing to override our own wills, but rather to slowly woo them over years and through various seasons and experiences, small drops of heaven that impact some part of us, reminding us that there is a greater reality than the one we’re immersed in currently.
I imagine his strong hands carefully touching the earth gently, knowing that the full force of his touch would rend the earth fully committed to him in one instant; instead desiring children who one by one hear his soft whisper through the insanity of the chaos around them, drop their pursuits by their own choice, and follow an unseen, unheard God, something that rarely makes sense in the human intellect.
It doesn’t make sense to me, that the King of Heaven wouldn’t choose to unleash more of his power so often. But I trust that he knows why. He made the path to his Kingdom narrow, twisting and turning, often surrounded by darkness. I think he gains much more joy when one of his children follow a small whisper they think was his voice than when one of his children experience a greater experience of his presence and obey him from that place. Both are amazing and God-honoring, but one took a greater risk, one was listening harder for their Father’s voice.
Are we listening?
Do we give up after ten minutes of silence?
Are we searching for the drops of heaven in our everyday life or do we excuse them as ordinary, as insignificant?
May we be a people who love being gently wooed by the Father of Life.
May we be a people who are not dissatisfied with how our God interacts with us, but excited for what he has done and always hungry for more.
May we be a people filled with eager anticipation for his voice, no matter how it comes or how loud it is.
He is speaking.
Are we listening?