you entrance my senses,
smell and earth and beauty and smoke,
stir my heart to remember you.
you confound my logic,
data and reason and science and fact,
disappear beneath the weight of perfect trust.
it is my delight to become a living cruciform,
a blazing altar which water cannot put out.
the sweet death of flesh and mind has given me you,
the great lover of man and soul.
how i find you in everything!
how even the amber glow of the light on my desk heralds your kingdom!
all the molecules in my substance know your name.
Kingly Christ,
how I long for your reign!
Great Shepherd,
how I thirst for your guidance!
Big Brother,
how I desire your companionship!
how shocking this love,
how offensive this friendship! (how beautiful)
that holy water should mix with tainted blood,
and the two become one.
how intolerable,
that my eyes which have beheld the darkest of nights,
might be graced to look upon the brightest of lights,
the beautiful face of Christ God.
horror of horrors it is,
and yet,
perhaps,
it really is wonderful in a particularly strange sort of way,
like finding home in a foreign country.
things that seem like they shouldn’t be are often times the best.
the unworthy wanderer 