eden unknown

the kind of silence that
makes you feel more than okay
is the type of silence that
I want to feel in the mornings
after I wake up
having wrestled in the night
wrestled in the sheets
with no one but myself
and a couple of unknown spirits

does this silence come from God
or the slow drip drip of coffee
steaming up the the nearest kitchen window
an anthem of good-mornings
a declaration of simple love
I thought I would get it from the touch
of a sweet wife
or her tender gaze in golden light
but I remain without
with me
and God is alone with me
waking me in the mornings
drinking my coffee
gazing at me from the windowsill
as I get ready for work.

sunday afternoons when the air is crisp
and the sun is still warm
a perfect marriage
I long to go for walks
down sidewalks and up rocks
anywhere and everywhere
how I long for the warmth of a hand
and not simply the hand of God
it is not that he is not enough
but his enough is not the only enough I need

I think that God looks down on me
and sees Adam in Eden
surrounded by life and beauty
yet still alone
without love
without embrace
the touch of a woman
does the soul of a man
like fire to dry wood

but Adam had no thought of woman
until woman was
he saw no mate in a tiger or a bird
and I see no mate in a friend or a job
even the promise of wealth or travel
seems somehow useless
if the only heart that enjoys it
is my own

but woman escapes me
and I escape woman
yet maybe I will wait another day
and make an extra cup of coffee