Mara

I wish I was like other boys.
But then who would cry these tears?

I just want to love people.
But I rarely am brave enough to let others love me.
Maybe they can love me when I’m six feet under.
At least I won’t have to feel awkward then.
I don’t want sex as much as I want a long hug.
If you sit for long enough,
Maybe I’ll actually let you in.
Maybe I’ll actually talk.
Maybe you’ll actually hear me.
Maybe.

But God, aren’t I just so funny?
I sell tickets faster than Kayne sells portaits.
But nobody actually knows.
No one could bear it.
So I carry it alone.

I can’t feel love.

I don’t want to.

When I was a boy I thought romance was going to be the greatest adventure of my life.
Now I don’t even know what romance is.
A few candles, a couple of nice words, and a fake kiss?

If I seem bitter,
It’s because I am.
Naomi has left,
Only Mara remains.

But I still can love God.

Even if God doesn’t love me.